• sometimes think about what life would be like if the world would have come to an end or not. I just think that if I could see that it was like that…we’d all be dead somehow. Though I can’t understand why life has been so cruel to me. My life used to be a fairytale but now it’s just something I live. Riding in an ambulance with three holes in your body is just ridiculous but what I’m about to experience will change my life forever. You can’t get any deeper that this. It’s just that I’m happy to be alive but not happy to be living.

    -Neir A. Hasiadia-



    I’ve been in the hospital for three days straight and I look forward to doing everyday is getting better…well for me that isn’t an option. Earlier I received noticed that I was well enough to go home but I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to. Right now my best friend, Detective Autsuga Wiggins, was driving me home to the comfort of my own bed. I was glad he had come and got me out of that miserable place because I was off my rockers and the fact that I was tested positive for a cardiovascular disease was making me even sicker. I didn’t want to tell anyone for it would jeopardize my whole lifeline. I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue in silence but there was work to be done.

    “ What’s wrong with you Neir…you seem as though you’ve lost me?” Asked Autsuga as the car swerved and jerked.

    “ I’m not sure I want to share with you but I don’t know if it’ll change any of your so kept opinions about our unique companionship. I must caution you that what I’m about to tell you might not seem so pleasing to hear.

    “ Okay Neir…what do you yearn to tell me that could effect our friendship?”

    “ I’m laid up”

    “You got some while you were in the hospital…seriously you’re kidding right!” He laughed. I looked at him sternly and rolled my eyes. My best friends were nothing but a mere idiot with the IQ of a lemur.

    “Think positive you insane crock. I’m sick. My body isn’t as it used to be before the accident. I’ve been tested positive for a cardiovascular disease that could kill me within the year being.” I said to him. He looked at me and took a deep breath. I could tell he wasn’t big on the idyllic of me being very sick.

    “I don’t know what to say…one minuet you’re injured and that next minuet you find out that you might not live to see your thirties roll around the corner. Did your doctors tell you what might’ve caused your breakdown or not?”

    “Yes…my ended relationship with Beatrice. Broken heart syndrome got to me yesterday, which apparently caused me to go into V-tack after ten vindictive minuets of internally bleeding. After an EKG and ECG they found out that I had some kind of ventricular breakdown in my heart muscle. They wanted to cut me open to see if my aorta was nipped during my most recent operation but it wasn’t worth it. I have no alternative but I go home and rest until I receive a call from the hospital. Right now I just want to go home and take a break from the deadening of an opening.” I recited and we turned into the driveway of my mansion.

    “ I’ll walk you inside to make sure that you’re okay. Living by yourself with only the company of you servants will be very tough on you and I don’t want to see you stressed out at any cost.” Said Autsuga. I looked at him and took a deep breath.

    “ I know that I can count on you to be there for my sake Autsuga.” I murmured.

    “Same here buddy…same here.”


    Chapter2: Come back

    I laid in bed with my eyes closes and my fingers running across the stitches on my chest. I couldn’t help but notice that I actually loved the fact that my girlfriend gone and that my dog could take her place sleeping on the hair covered pillow beside me. It turns out that mans best friend can amount to a mate after all. I just couldn’t accept the fact that she had abandoned me in a stabbing with the villainous person. It was hard to forget that but I really didn’t care. Pictures of doctors covered in my own blood circled as I watched them bandage me up. I could actually deprive myself of my own happiness and think of only the things that were sad enough to cause my heart to pound devoid of caution.

    “ You seem rather tough to be home with from the hospital with gaping wounds on your crippled body.” I opened my eyes and looked up. Beatrice stood before me with a devious smile on her face. I was incredulous about the fact that she had come back with no respect for me what so ever.

    “What do you want? I have no business to even be in the vicinity of you; nor you, me.” I barked as she placed her could hands upon my bare body.

    “ I didn’t’ realize that I had left you to die back at that retched place. I didn’t noticed that you were wounded when I left you and for that I feel that I must make it up to somehow.” She said. My heart began to beat rapidly as a pulsation of antagonism ran up and down my spine.

    “ I don’t accept your charity for I know that you left me for a purpose. Now before I have the guards escort you out of my house I just want you to know that BHS is a very authoritative condition.” I said as I weakly pushed he hand off of my side. She looked dumbfounded after I said that but I didn’t give a damn if she did.

    “I’m sorry to hear that but in the mean time I’ll leave you be.” She departed from my room and I restrained myself from getting up from bed for I was feeling awfully dizzy. I hadn’t taken any kind of medication ever since I had departed from the hospital and I was kind of beginning to think that morphine is highly addictive. I looked into the mirror and saw that I was shaking…shaking as if I had hypothermia or as if I were dehydrated. I sat up and stood up slowly from bed. My legs wobbled and twitched horribly. I then plopped back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

    “Master Neir…Dr. Yotsuma is here to check up on you…shall I let him in.” I looked up and saw Jenna standing in the doorway.

    “Yes go ahead.” I said softly as Dr. Yotsuma walked in and sighed deeply. She was tall and slim yet I couldn’t get why she was a homo.

    “So Neir how are you feeling, because I totally forgot to give you your medicine before you left?” she as me as she stroked my hair. I smiled and took a semi-deep breath.

    “I feel as though I’m out of breath. It’s kind of odd but I can live with it.” I stated.

    “That’s good to hear but I can’t leave you with heaviness on your chest like that. I’m going to give you this bottle of cardiac dilators to take every four hours so you don’t collapsed from cardiovascular depression. I’m coming back on Friday to check on you so don’t think of sneaking off.” She said. I sighed deeply.

    “Don’t leave…” I pleaded.

    “Oooo sorry babe but I can’t stay…I have to meet my girlfriend at the bar tonight. I’ll see you soon.” She then left the room. Yeah…it’s as if she was so gay that she eventually she’ll figure out what a d***o is and once more turn out to be straighter than Pablo in spandex. I sighed and placed the bottles of pills on my dresser. I didn’t really want to take it because I all I really wanted to do was go to work tomorrow, drink coffee and joke with the guys about how thin-n-see through the bosses slacks are. I also wanted to see if I had a new investigation set up. Yet I wondered still about why Beatrice had come back to see me…that’s not anything I would exactly expect from her.

    “ Sir the hospital called…they want you to come in tomorrow for a chest x-ray.” I looked up and saw Jeremy standing in the doorway of my room.

    “Thank you Jeremy I’ll make sure I do so.” I mumbled. I then turned over on my side and fell asleep. I was tired and for some reason I was beginning to feel as if I weren’t afraid of death but yet…it was afraid of me. I knew that tomorrow I would need every last bit of hope to get me through tomorrow morning.


    I arrived at work with a knick in my chest and a fever in my pocket. The doctors had discovered fluid around my heart and while doing the procedure to move it I had broken out into a fever. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to be at work because my body was even more tired than I had expected it to be.