- A silence. A silence so eerie and awkward that it would make god himself stand still. Then, the scream. The scream of the late siren so loud and horrid that it would make the creatures of the deep blue hold their ears in agony. Then, panic. A panic so chaotic and out-of-order that when residents were scrambling up the hills away from the coast with the belongings that they had time to save, they kept tripping and falling as they made their way through the numerous roots and rocks in the path of their destination. Then, a roaring sound, a kind of sound that if you heard it, it would rattle your spine and shoot fearful adrendaline throughout your body, and freeze you or cause you to panic and flee. And finally, the water. A monstrous wall of water rushed up the beach, consuming the parasols, food stands, and obliterating anything else in this rampaging monster's way. The monster then would crash its way through the village at the base of the hills, breaking into buildings to steal and destroy what lied within. The surviving townsfolk, now at the top of the hills, watched in horror as their homes were defiled and mutilated by the monster wave, their feelings full of sorrow and their thoughts empty except for the word, why?
- Title: Tidal Wave
- Artist: Destheren
- Description: An assignment I wrote last year in creative writing class.
- Date: 10/25/2008
- Tags: tidal wave
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Comments (5 Comments)
- Daemongrave - 07/07/2009
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.................................wow.
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- The Llama Goes Moo - 06/29/2009
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Hmm...I enjoyed the amount of imagery in this passage, but one thing that bothered me was your repetitive use of the words 'then', and ‘so’. I'm not sure if it was intentional, or not, but it took away from the terror of the moment.
Also, since you're constantly changing subjects, from a silence, a siren, panic, etc., you might want to format it; separate it.
Aside from that, it was decent. Good imagery, just lacking different vocabulary. 3/5 Worth reading. - Report As Spam
- aka BANG BANG - 12/22/2008
- omg thats so amazing 5,000,000/5
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- Angeladr7 - 10/25/2008
- You probably did well on your assignment because this was good. Like the had said before in a comment, it was very descriptive and made you really feel and sense everything that was happening
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- Slash Maverick - 10/25/2008
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Not bad at all. Very descriptive and kept me reading, good theme of loss and anguish at non-human objects.
Could have been better if you expanded on how the wave came around at the beginning of the story - Report As Spam