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As we travel, Nato becomes bigger and stronger. One night Nato grabbed the bag I carry over my sholder and ran into the woods with it. Knowing he would eat all the food I had in there I ran after him.
I finally caught up to him in a clearing about a mile away from our camp. He droped my bag, looked into my eyes and said these words, "Mila, there is a great strugle ahead of you and your friends. You and your parents have amazing power, power that can destroy all evil. That is why you are attacked so much. Only you can defeate the evil arising in Chal and the surrounding world."
I was so startled that I stepped backwards and stumbled on a root. I whipped around and held out my hand to keep from falling and hurting myself. As I did so, a bright blue light emerged from my hand and I shot back up to a standing position.
He said next, "You also have healing abilities that are unknown to man, that is why Naton did not die when you first met." "You know about that?" I said. "Yes, I know every thing about you. I know every thing you know." he responded.
With tears clouding my vision, I cried, "Is this why you brought me here, to tell me that I am abnormal and a powerful demon?" "You are not a demon, you are needed throughout the entire world. People will bow to you one day." he soothed me.
"Come now and dry your tears. Tomorrow I will teach you some spells. You must also get reinforcements in each town. You may not know it, but there is a resistance waiting for the legendary Light Seeker.
Light Seeker is what he called me from then on, and he did teach me many things that next day. But nothing prepared me for what we met in the next city.
- by lalaland2106 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/03/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: Fate II
- Artist: lalaland2106
- Description: My extreamly horible story. please leave a comment and rate. I REALLY want to know what other people think.
- Date: 08/03/2008
- Tags: fate tiger orphan
- Report Post
Comments (5 Comments)
- hazuinf - 01/31/2009
- it isnt really ordered. im sorry. i agree i think u hav improved so i think u shud rewrite this now and see if it comes out better.
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- lalaland2106 - 01/28/2009
- I put this in the arenas when I first started writing. I've shown ppl what I did then and what I do now and they say they can see a definite improvement
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- Xxflying ninja pandaxX - 01/13/2009
- I'm not trying to be mean, but it isn't... fluent, it doesn't make sense, and I for one was unable to follow it. 1/5
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- loveblackbutterflies - 08/22/2008
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It isn't fluent. Instead of the sentences running into each other, they sort of seem like "Tears ran down my cheeks. I grabbed a branch to support myself. I asked, "what do you mean?" angrily." Do you get what I mean?
I think you should try to roleplay, since you don't have to come up with what every character does and all you have to do is stay focused on yours, respond correctly to others and make sure your in depth of the characters past and emotions. - Report As Spam
- Arcwolf1001 - 08/11/2008
- Let's see the next one 4/5.
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