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Sprit attack
Chapter one: animals.
It was an icy day. Snow was piled 6 feet off the ground. This was no choice of weather tough. Jack had herd his friends talking about using there sprits to make a snow storm so that they could have fun the next day. No one was weary that it was snowing because it was the opposite time of the harvest month. Jack sat in his room reading a book. It was a small room. It look wooden even tough it was actually metal. There was a fancy red carpet on the floor and a single bed. 2 snowballs pelted Jack’s window.
“Hey Jack! Come on!” a blue haired boy yelled. Jack had 2 friends. They all had odd hair colors. Jack had green hair and he wore one side of it up like a small spike. One of Jacks friends, the blue haired one, was called Ivan. He was very happy go lucky. He always wore a blue shirt that had a wide head hole that showed a white shirt under it. He wore kaki pants and blue shoes. The other one was a red haired boy. He was also playful but not as crazy as Ivan. His name was Garret. He always wore a red shirt and pants. Both of Jack’s friends had large objects attached to there wrists. The objects matched there colors. Jack wore a Red shirt with the same pattern as the carpet and the chair he was sitting in. these boys were all young.
Jack walked to a nearby door and went outside. As soon as Jack had gone around the house snow balls went flying toward him. He side stepped them easily. Jack’s friends started to throw snowballs like there were no tomorrow. Jack was very athletic and dodging them. While doing a cart wheel Jack scooped up clumps of snow and hid both Ivan and Garret in the face. “That’s it we are calling in the artillery.” Garret said. “Brutish as always.” Jack replied. 2 large creatures appeared. They had an upper body but there lower body was like a ghost. The ends of the “tails” were coming from the devices on Ivan’s and Garret’s arms. One of the creatures looked like a blue half human half wolf with the hairs on the top of the head sticking back. That was the one coming from Ivan’s arm. The other one looked like a muscular red half human half boar. Both creatures picked up large clumps of snow and started throwing them at Jack. Jack still dodged them as if they were an inch per second even though they were going 35 MPH. (the shaking woke up half the houses abound them.) after a while of this a women in a pure red suit came to that cluster of buildings. She was wearing a red shirt and pants. Her shoes where also red and less thick than the boy’s shoes. She was holding a clipboard and she had a small red diamond on the middle of her forehead. “Still up to your shenanigans huh?” the women asked tiered. A large snowball hit her and she fell to the ground. “We got her!” Garret yelled. A large, brown bull man came up from under the snow and made an even bigger snowball than the one that hit the women and threw it hard at Garret. Garret started running but he got hit by snowball and went flying a good mile before he stopped. A large burst of flame came up from the place where Garret landed. “He’s ok.” Jack said. The women go up from the snow and brushed herself off. This now reviled that the bull was standing on its own. It had torn shorts but aside from that it wore nothing else. “You ok milady?” The bull asked in a deep voice. “I’ve taken worse.” The women said looking at the spot where Garret once stood. “You held back.” She said to the bull. “Well I didn’t want to kill him.” The bull said. “Ok Chester. Just make sure we don’t have to hospitalize him.” The women said to the bull. “fine.” Said Chester. Jack looked behind the women. There was a boy with white hair and white cloths cowering. “Who is the new guy?” Jack asked. “What new guy?” Ivan asked. Jack pointed cowering figure. “I don’t see him.” Ivan said. “I can smell him.” The wolf said. “Where is he Don?” Ivan asked. “Where Jack is pointing.” The wolf said. “Would you stand up?” Jack asked the kid kindly. “S-sure.” The kid said. He stopped shaking and stood up. “Why didn’t I see him before he cowered?” Ivan asked. “Because he started cowering after Garret hit Janet with an oversized snowball. Well ogre more accurately.” Jack said and looked at the boy. “What’s your name?” Jack asked. “Angle.” The Boy answered. “Why are you here?” Jack asked. “Ask your instructor.” Angle said. “He is here so you can teach him Jack.” The Janet said. Angel looked at Jack and Janet. “Are you to related?” Angle asked. “No. actually I am Garrets mom.” Janet said. “Hey how come I can’t teach someone?” Garret asked. “Took you long enough.” Jack said. “Because you just can calm down. While always having energy is a good trait you need to be even headed. Now I have to go there are other students. I will get the others with your related powers here but for now just make sure to you scare Angel.” Janet said. She walked away. She turned around before she was out of sight and said “good snow storm Ivan.” And left.
- by skywerwolf |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/18/2008 |
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- Title: spirt attack
- Artist: skywerwolf
- Description: this is the first part of a story i have desided to make. its light hearted but there will be fighting if this get enough psotive reivews.
- Date: 07/18/2008
- Tags: magic spirt angel
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Comments (4 Comments)
- skywerwolf - 07/18/2008
- i shall mention my grmatical issues next instalment.
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- sakanaya - 07/18/2008
- While you may have used a spellcheck program, it is important to proofread your sentences in context. For example, though 'herd' is a word - as in a herd of animals - "Jack had herd his friends talking" is wrong because he heard them talking. Using proper paragraphs, spelling and grammar make your stories easier to read - as it is, I stopped reading early in the story because the errors made it difficult to read. 1/5, but don't let that discourage you - keep writing!
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- skywerwolf - 07/18/2008
- 11 i do use a spell checker i am not good with gramer and 2 i think the paragrph is only relly needed in this small space but thank you for the tips.
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- Neko-Ryuku - 07/18/2008
- You should use a spell checker before submitting your work. Grammatical errors make stories unenjoyable to read. Also, each person speaking should have their -own- paragraph. Otherwise it gets confusing to readers.
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