introduction Va-story

• Artist: magikhawk
• Description: a vampire story...
  
  just the intro, if you want more youll have to say so in the comments, let me know, more, or no. it'll show in your rankings!
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags: vampirestory

Millions of years before the first fire burned within range of their paper white skin, people were lovely, and lived amongst each other in perfect peace, there was no light or dark, simply civil survival. and walking amongst them are adults and children. Elizara walked proudly past everyone, thinking of nothing more than how she could mark her new rank, a sword swinging delicately at her side, solely for decoration, she shouted to the world "I am the strongest" and then a fire lit up in the sky, and her people scattered. she screamed in agony as this new threat stood high in the sky, something she couldn't touch, couldn't fight. and with a new fear she ran for shelter. the sun being the ultimate enemy, the strongest. she sat in the dark, and thought to herself about how to avenge her people.

Comments

[Arisa Wilder]

So, how do they have swords when they don't have fire? It certainly is interesting, but it needs to be revised a bit. That single chunk of text should be at least three or four paragraphs. So, yeah, go through a few drafts, edit, revise, ect., and then this promising intro will become an interesting lead in to a wonderful story. 8D